"You Hurt My Feelings" Explores the Challenges of Mid-Life Adulting

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep) is Beth, an established author of means, and a New Yorker wrestling with doubts about her latest novel. AND tons of Fall TV recommendations.

🎞️ A short review of You Hurt My Feelings (streaming on Kanopy) can be found below the recommended shows and songs. The Skinny: It’s a good watch for people who gravitate to films featuring opinionated, neurotic femmes, of which I’m the club founder. And so is, director Nicole Holofcener, who is to female neuroticism and work-life relationships what Nora Ephron is to the same but with romance at the center.

DONE, DONE, & DONE or Done & Doner

THEME: Are there too many episodes for any given series these days? YES! Here’s to bloated but still watchable DRAMA and those pesky flashbacks that eat up episodes

• Lady in the Lake on Apple TV+: I completed all 7 episodes of Lady in the Lake [Preview here]. I stand by the recommendation I wrote after watching two episodes. The show holds despite some Swiss cheese elements.

  Standout episodes: 1, 2, and 7. The ending was unexpected, even for a fan of mystery and suspense, like myself. Swiss Cheese-Weaker Elements: The weird dream-life psychosis segments and song sequences. They were distracting and I skipped them. This was filler IMHO.

• Average Joe on Netflix: The Breaking Bad-esque show about a regular plumber living in Pittsburgh who finds himself on the short end of his deceased father’s crime associations holds its appeal mostly for the ten-episode duration. The last one was especially dark, but the show overall had memorable moments, and the cast, apart from Joe, who got on my last nerve by the end, had good chemistry. The show suffered from not knowing if it was a dark dramedy or an all-out emotionally gripping drama at times which was felt in the unevenness in its execution. My advice: Stick to the stuff of life! No more drawn-out flashbacks, please.

  Shows That Are Pulling Me Out of the August Doldrums

THEME: Here’s to a funny show that like any good dinner guest, knows when to say goodbye (way before you take off your pants)

• Mr. Throwback on Peacock: Another show I previewed in my August post (🔗 above). The Steph Curry, Adam Pally, Ego Nwodim comedic trifecta is the chef’s kiss. Standouts in the ensemble: Tracy Letts as Pally’s recovering addict, former coach dad, and relative newcomer, Ayden Mayeri, as Pally’s ex. She’s fantastic and has a prominent role in the new John Cena/Awkwafina movie on Prime, Jackpot!, which you can skip. If you’re looking for a worthy Awkwafina film, albeit slightly less comedic and more serious, see The Farewell [See this post]. To Sum it Up: Mr. Throwback is a unicorn 🦄 in today’s TV market: A highly enjoyable, smart sitcom that’s good for the sassy, sarcastic, irreverent family. At less than 30 minutes an episode and 6 of them, no one in your family will have time to get bored/complain too much.

👥 Shows That Are Still Standing for Me…Like Elton John at a Piano

THEME: There’s something about a motley crew of strange bedfellows that gets the endorphins and dopamine firing in synchronous harmony. And yay to guest stars. We never tire of them. I think.

• Only Murders in the Building, Season 4 on Hulu [Trailer] - My other favorite comedic trio, and a cross-generational one at that, is the team of Martin, Gomez, and Short. This time they are spending some time in the city of Angels, which I imagine is where the bulk of this show is filmed anyway, as opposed to New York. Hollywood wants to make a movie out of the podcast, which is only fitting after 3 seasons and plenty of murders. Molly Shannon, Eva Longoria, Eugene Levy, and that guy from the 8th highest-grossing comedy film of all time, The Hangover Part II, Mr. Zach Galifianakis guest star, and Streep is back. Watched the first episode of Season 4 and I’m already hooked. To get you in the OMITB mood, [Check out this wine + film pairing]

• Industry, Season 3 on Max [Trailer]- It’s the PRESTIGE TV show I look forward to all week and regularly remind myself, in senior moments, what time it releases on Sunday evenings on HBO. It’s that good. Kit Harrington (GOT), as this season’s guest star delivers every week. Consider me effectively seduced and wiping the gritty grime off my non-dismissal of his “poor little rich boy” routine. For more goodness on this show and someone with a steady pulse on it, [Follow

  The Schmear Hunter
  ]

• Bad Monkey on Apple TV+ [Trailer] - It’s still good, 4 episodes in, but I do wonder if the femme fatale / easily manipulated man dynamic is a bit tired. First, we have it with Yancy (Vaughn) and his ex (Michelle Monaghan, in an unconventional role that has me ?!?!?), and now the Rob Delaney character and Search Party woman. Like, give it a rest. The ability to tolerate Yancy’s shtick of being unfiltered and obnoxious wanes over time, but I’m still biting.

🧛 Best Kept Secret Show - Only Vampires in this Building

Interview with a Vampire (2 seasons, the first season is available on Netflix) Forget the ‘90s film with Pitt as Louis, Cruise as Lestat, and Dunst in her breakout role as the child vampire, Claudia. Or you know what? Don’t forget it. Watch it again and then watch this show after reading Anne Rice’s original work which might be disguised in vampire clothing and take us to dark, erotic, bloodlust places, but it’s really about more universal themes of desire, ambition, relationships, love, and sacrifice.

Fall Forward into These Upcoming Releases on Apple TV+

• This week: Slow Horses, Season 4 [Trailer] - This show fills my cup in the suspense/mystery department and then some. For past seasons, window dressing and mood setting, see my thoughts here.

• October: Shrinking, Season 2 [Announcement] - Brief synopsis to get you updated on the premise [here].

• November: Bad Sisters, Season 2 - The season 1 mystery drama out of Ireland featuring 4 bad sisters rocked our world. So much so that I wrote about it [here]

🎵 September Tunes That Aren’t Earth, Wind & Fire but Cover the Elements

Wake Me Up When September Ends - I’m not a huge Green Day fan, but this song gets me every time. Since the beginning of this millennium, September has become a time of collective mourning due to the 9/11 attacks, and this song has come to symbolize the pain associated with that tragedy. The video features Evan Rachel Wood and Armstrong, the lead singer has mentioned that the song is about him losing his father to cancer in 1982 when he was ten years old.

Let the Light In - I never would have discovered this song if I weren't attending Kacey Musgraves' concert next weekend. With Father John Misty as one of the opening acts and this song ranking #1 among his tracks, it caught my attention. Del Rey's haunting vocals are simply beautiful.

Only Hurt Feelings Here & Why Julia Louis-Dreyfus is All Moms

Copyright: © Just My Opinion Pictures Inc

The trailer for Nicole Holofcener's You Hurt My Feelings (2023) undersells the film's depth and relationship ecosystem by focusing primarily on the dilemma of kindness versus honesty in husband-wife relationships. While it does highlight the central conflict between Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and her husband Don (Tobias Menzies) over his true opinion of her latest book, the film explores a broader range of interpersonal dynamics and personal insecurities. Holofcener's nuanced storytelling delves deeper into the complexities of long-term relationships, professional self-doubt, and the ripple effects of well-intentioned deception.

Side Note: For a comprehensive guide on why trailers suck, check out [Esther Zuckerman’s article] in The NY Times.

Having grown up on a steady adult diet of Nicole Holofcener's films, who I consider Gen X's indie Nora Ephron with more relatable characters, I've long enjoyed watching Catherine Keener, Liev Schreiber, and Anne Heche in movies like Walking & Talking and Lovely and Amazing. These films captured the awkwardness of life and love in your 20s and 30s. More recently, Holofcener's work, such as Enough Said, The Land of Steady Habits, and You Hurt My Feelings, explores the complexities of "adulting" as characters mature into later stages of life with more disposable income and positive cash flow. Not quite the one-percenters but not too far off either.

One area I found myself relating to (as a parent), is Beth’s son Eliot’s condemnation and judgment of his mother’s over-praising of his capabilities, which are dishonest, in his mind. She just wants him to feel good and capable - to see and realize his potential. He wants to be told the truth. He cites examples of his underperformance in school and swimming and her insistence that he was more and better. As a result, he learned he couldn’t trust her. He deemed her “a liar.” The dialogue in this scene is exceptionally brilliant, capturing a raw vulnerability that is masterfully executed. And as a parent, it’s very much of a “you see me” moment.

Michaela Watkins, a former SNL cast member, plays Julia Louis-Dreyfus's sister, and their striking resemblance and chemistry make their relationship believable. The film offers a meaningful exploration of the complexities of relationships, the lies we tell ourselves and others, and our capacity to move past our egos to support our loved ones and embrace our imperfections. This theme of acceptance in the face of personal flaws resonates throughout Holofcener's work and is felt here.

BONUS BETH Film Stuff

JOIN my October film club where we’ll be watching and chatting about these romance films via chat. BUT FIRST, please make sure to upgrade your membership. This club will only be available to paid subscribers.

Bonus Fun Fact: Upgrading allows me to spend more of my day creating these posts and consuming even more content.

On the topic of romance, my main sports film Substack,

Balls on Film

dropped a must-read on my top sports romance film of all time.

Love & Basketball

Hear me talk about films mostly from the ‘90s [Characters That Work/Subplots That Don't Series]. The latest one is Minority Report which NEWS FLASH still holds up, and a little too well.

Let’s Discuss

• What shows are you currently watching or looking forward to?

• Which Anne Rice vampire do you relate to the most? Have the most empathy for?

• Do you consider yourself neurotic?

• Have you seen You Hurt My Feelings?

• We’ve all likely told a fib to protect someone’s feelings before - kindness over honesty. Does this statement jive with you? And have you ever caught your partner in such a fib when it comes to your work or put another way, how do you deal with their criticism?

• What’s your favorite Holofcener film? Julia Louis-Dreyfus is blowing up the film screen lately with incredible performances, but have any of you checked out her award-winning podcast? She interviews interesting women and has a range of informed, intelligent, and funny conversations with them. [Wiser than Me]