Pickleball and Little Fires Everywhere
And my quasi crush on Harry Styles movies of late. No Halloween mention and yet it's Halloween. Ok, fine, suburbanites: Want to be scared? Watch 'The Watcher' on Netflix. There. Done.
A few weeks ago I wrote about my love of pickleball, the fast growing racquet sport played with a wiffle ball type ball that’s a combination of tennis and table tennis with a ton of play at the net.
The post in which I invert my thinking and do some growth mindset.
Point 1: Net Play makes me feel like a loser. But yet, I’m actually a winner at the game of life, er pickleball.
In pickleball, you have to play at the net. This is a crucial part of the game (see video below) because the second you move back you are infinitely increasing the area in which the ball can land and your ability to return it diminishes because you have to chase it around a court. So make sense, right?
I have a confession.
I fear the net. I do. I don’t like how quickly I need to respond to the ball. Instantly, I’m a jello mess of legs and arms which tell me I can’t do it. I believe that I don’t have quick reflexes, I’m not aggressive enough and the worst, what if the ball hits my eye?
Yes I just said that. I don’t love the idea of being hit by a ball, which may explain why I still have a recurring nightmare from elementary school P.E. class dodgeball which was for me a game of figuring out who I could stand behind who could block the ball from hitting me. Oh, and getting picked last by my classmates when they chose teammates. Go figure.
So yes, maybe the part that irks me is, as an adult, is I’m still standing behind my pickleball partner, towards the back taking the balls that get past them, while he or she goes for the net play. When I should be assertive, confident and quick.
But here’s the other thing. I hit the ball low. I have a wicked strong serve and from the back of the court, I can get that ball into a back corner of my opponents’ and it’s hard to return, because yeah, wiffle ball. It dies quickly. Not a ton of bounce and recall I hit the ball low. Sometimes so low it hits the net, but I’m improving.
So what if instead of feeling the deficit of not being an excellent net player, I look at my ability to hit from the back of the court as my superpower. Sure, to play pickleball you need to be decent at the net too (i’ll have to ride that discomfort a little and mess up a lot), but my edge is my back of the court play.
I’d like to have been able to say this to the misogynistic mixed doubles partner I had a few weeks ago who kept telling me to “play nyet”, but alas, I’m saying it here, a little later because it took me a little more time to collect my thoughts and feelings.
Point 2: What if your side thing was your main thing?
Celeste Ng, acclaimed author of Little Fires Everywhere, which was also a hit show on Hulu, was interviewed on the ReThinking with Adam Grant podcast in which she said that early on in her career (I mean, she’s like 42 and has been an author for a long time now), someone gave her advice that rocked her world.
As the child of scientists and someone who had never even known another author/writer in her life, she didn’t know that you could even have a career as a writer. As such, she always envisioned her writing as the side thing that her main gig would enable her to continue to pursue “on the side.” Similar to a journey I can relate to, after college, she went on to work in textbook publishing and realized that wasn’t for her. It wasn’t till she had a friend say to her, “Hey wait, what if your side thing was your main thing?” that she allowed herself that in to even imagine writing full time.
Btw, hoping this friend is also collecting royalties from the sales of Ng’s written masterpieces and TV show. Jk. Jk.
Point 3: No clue what the inverted mindset brain frame is here. Can you suggest one? Leave in comments please.
I’ve sat thru two Harry Styles’ arty, deeper cinematic showcases recently and paid the price of a theater admission to do so. I don’t regret one of them (Don’t Worry Darling and here’s more on that) and the other, My Policeman is a mild regret.
Why?
Well, I explained it best on my Instagram, Beth’s Exceptional Playlist, which I implore you all to follow for more frequent film and tv recos, but I’ll quote myself here for your convenience:
On the one hand, acting performances by all 6 of the main leads (Emma Corrin and Harry Styles among them) was admirable and well done. The story intriguing and beautifully filmed. On the other side of this is that there was very little catharsis felt throughout. To those unfamiliar with the story by Bethan Roberts, it’s a love triangle where David Dawson as Patrick, who is living more of an “out” (as much as “out” is allowed in a time in which homosexuality was a crime) homosexual life in Brighton, England in the late 50’s falls in love with Tom (Styles), a cop.
Marion (Corrin) falls in love with Tom (Styles). He dates her and introduces Marion to Patrick and for a while all three are friends. Now there’s some twisted deception in this throuple “meet cute” that will make your milk turn, but I’ll leave that to you all to witness.
Eventually Marion marries Tom but Patrick’s pervasive presence in the marriage proves to be a problem (really, why?) and ultimately is a catalyst for a rather big, bad event. I feel like the movie wants us to feel bad for Tom and Patrick because of the times and what that meant for their relationship but Tom was a bit of a douche to Marion and Marion was in my mind living a long life without affection and real romantic love and how crappy for her really. All because of selfish Tom who didn’t want to be “alone” and spiteful Patrick who couldn’t give up Tom.
In short, Styles isn’t “my policeman” nor would I want him to be. Patrick, you can have him. And Marion please choose not to have him.
As my daughter said to me this weekend, “Mom don’t you think that the whole, ‘If a boy is mean to you that means he likes you’ is kinda toxic? I mean shouldn’t he be nice to me instead? That seems like it would impress me a whole lot more.”
Geez, where was Aya when Marion was forming her world view? Can we we get a revision on this story, stat. And while we’re at it, let’s have Brit Marling rewrite it the way she did The Little Mermaid ending revision with Jodie Foster, Dax Shepard, and Glenn Close. Think we need a more empathic ending here.
Halloween Treats.
Guaranteed to freak you out:
This one I couldn’t get past the first episode: