Where I dissect what's wrong with "The Crown" Season 5

Spoiler: There's a lot wrong but it doesn't include Elizabeth Debicki as Diana. She's the this season's redemption.

For those of you familiar with Netflix’s The Crown, you know it’s about the reign of Queen Elizabeth II, recently deceased, and that bumbling dysfunctional family of hers many of us now know of as “the firm.”

But alright, alright. You may be thinking, you jest. Well, sort of. And yet you watch like a faithful devoted follower of an outdated and classically offensive colonial model of adoration - a mere symbol of a once governing power that actually did something and is now is purely decorative, media-grabbing and costing UK taxpayers via the Sovereign Grant (more on that below).

As stated in the latest Sovereign Grant accounts: "Since the United Kingdom has no codified constitution, the role of Monarchy is defined by convention – a non-legal but nevertheless binding rule". These roles are supported financially by UK taxpayers via the 'Sovereign Grant' 

Putting all this to the side, The Crown makes for sensational and scintillating (yes, I like this word and use it often) TV - a socially acceptable serial to discuss at the water cooler without losing your street cred, even if Dame Judi Dench contests the accuracy. I mean, she’s probably just pissed that she didn’t get the role of Elizabeth (that went to Imelda Staunton this season) since she figured she had it in the bag having played the role previously. Even the critics agree that the show has merit. It’s won Emmys and Golden Globes. That’s like the equivalent of an almost EGOT in the young world of streaming television.

So what are my grievances with this season of The Crown?

1. It’s Boring. This season takes place in the 90’s. Were the 90s boring? Maybe…As In the show, we witness the rise of two very different PMs in John Major and Tony Blair, dissolution of Charles and Diana: The Fairy Tale, Camillagate (tampons), the infamous and disastrous BBC Diana - Bashir interview, along with Elizabeth, the Queen, contending with being wholly out of touch with the public (Queen Victoria syndrome) and the start of her sunset years. She also experiences a type of distance from her partner, Philip. About this time, IRL, Philip was gaining publicity for saying some weird shit, as well.

   

   1. In further detail: Past seasons had more gripping storylines focused on social issues, politics (the Thatcher Season 4 being a particularly memorable one as was Season 1 with Churchill), the relationship between the Monarch and the Prime Minister. This one explores the PM/Monarch relationship as well, but it’s not really satisfying, even with Jonny Lee Miller playing Major. Still, apart from Elizabeth’s daughter, Anne, Major is the season’s pragmatic and welcoming voice of reason, the calm in the storm.

2. Dominic West as Charles: The most against type casting ever. Ok, Dominic West is a force to be reckoned with whether in The Wire or The Affair. He commands presence and he leads with a level of macho assertiveness that’s aggressively in your face. West really doesn’t pass for the real deal Charles. The real Charles emits a “beta” male energy. Arguably, Josh O’ Connor’s Season 4 portrayal, hit much closer to home. Also, he looks nothing like Charles. I just can’t even deal. When he’s addressing “mummy” it’s never as a submissive, petulant child. It’s as a man who has grown up and wants mommy out of the house, and he’ll stop at nothing to achieve this end.

   

   Charles waves to the crowd. Everyone loves him for ushering in a modern age, or has he?

3. The Crown tries desperately and without fail to make us sympathetic to a very unsavory contemptible figure, Edward, Duke of Windsor. There’s a B storyline in this season that sets up the context of Mohamed al Fayed, billionaire, owner of Harrod’s and The Ritz Carlton, and father of now deceased boyfriend of Diana’s, Dodi Fayed, in which we learn that Mohamed and Edward shared the same valet. It’s actually a pretty tender-hearted storyline with said valet, Sydney Johnson, teaching Mohamed, who yearns to be an aristocratic Englishman and loves the monarchy, the ways of the British higher class, as Edward had schooled him in this. We get a glimpse of how stylish and well mannered Edward was and how he elevated Sydney’s cultural world view, broadening his mind and filling it with good taste and general bonhomie. But I think hard stop, Peter Morgan (creator/writer of the show), Edward was a Nazi sympathizer and plotted to cut a deal and overthrow with the Third Reich. Let’s focus less on this dude.

   

   Mou Mou, aka Mohamed el Fayed with Sydney Johnson

4. Too much Philip time: This season’s Philip was flat out dinosaur in his ability to modernize with the times. He started hanging out with Penny Knatchbull, a much younger woman married to his godson, and they engaged in a slightly unorthodox and potentially sexual relationship, in which they’d discuss theories of Tsar Nicholas and Tsarina Alexandra being assassinated indirectly by the British Monarchy, and ride in carriages for fun. Are you snoring yet? Couldn’t Philip just focus on being a good father-in-law to Diana (whom he admits he has a soft spot for) and/or giving pep talks to his grandkids like other men of his age and situation?

Are there positives to Season 5?

Elizabeth Debicki, who almost upstages the real Diana in her portrayal, is so spot on it’s eerie. Apart from her height towering over Dominic West’s Charles which again, IRL, was not the case but in this depiction is, Debicki nails the look, the mannerisms, and expressions of Diana. You feel for her but you also want to hit her over the head and say, “My God, you have this incredible privilege and power to wield. You just don’t know it, somehow? But please own it. Stop making poor decisions about men and brooding in the tower.” Yes, the firm did shitty things to her (tampering with her phone, locking her in a tower, Charles treating her like crap and everyone turning a blind eye to it) but she also acted like a petulant child half the time. Then again, she was married to one, so what hope did she have?

The iconic “revenge dress” worn by Diana after Charles’ Camilla infidelities came out.

Early on in the season, as rumors of Diana telling all to Andrew Morton, the author of the best-selling “Diana” biography, emerge, Philip says to her, “[We] are not a family. [We] are a system. For better or for worse, [we] are stuck in this system, and [we] can't err their grievances like a normal family.”

Truth be told, I haven’t been blown away by chemistry of any of the season’s Charles or Dianas and yet per Diana’s admission in both seasons, she loved Charles or was in love with him. Really? I’m not buying it.

The PM - Elizabeth Relationship. I find the dynamic between Elizabeth and her PMs to be especially interesting. The way they have to find a working relationship and negotiate wants and needs, making sometimes odd requests of one another. In this season, the Queen asks Major to act as a mediator in the war of the Roses between Charles and Diana.

Not gonna lie. Lesley Manville is having a moment lately (Magpie Murders, Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris) and her turn as Princess Margaret as a woman who had to sacrifice her great love (Peter Townshend) because of “the system” is sad. Then again, Margaret knows the score, her complicity in all this, and also doesn’t mince words when it comes to her big sister. Every scene they are in is golden.