It's time we calmed down and watched documentaries about successful female artists and what's on their minds

Maybe it's because it's Grammys-time tonight and there's a general appreciation of musical talent in the air. Or maybe I'm just playing catch up.

When I started the week, I really hadn’t planned on watching two documentaries about two multi-hyphenate singer-songwriters-entertainers-every other talent possible artists, portrayed at different points in their career, representing starkly contrasting generations, but here I am, it’s Sunday, Grammys are on tonight, and my mind is deep in processing mode on the 4+ hours of TV I’ve consumed in the last few days.

Before I go into each of the documentaries (Taylor Swift: Miss Americana and Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry) and weigh in on if they are worth your time, i’ll give a headline for those who appreciate the 30 second takeaway: They are.

If you want to understand why, read on.

Billie Eilish: The World’s a Little Blurry (on AppleTV)

The documentary, directed by R.J. Cutler, chronicles the trajectory of Billie’s exponential growth starting pretty much right before her career exploded (around the age of 17-18) and thru her work with her brother Finneas on the Bond theme song for No time To Die to her Grammys win. What we see of Billie is the juxtaposition of her fame and talent at such a young age coupled with the vulnerability of her youth and world experience. At heart, she’s a girl living with her family and dealing with a lot of the same crap (boyfriend troubles, self-worth, depression, anxiety, battled body from injuries) that a lot of kids are dealing with. Only Billie doesn’t get to just be that kid or that artist and thankfully she has her family to lean on for mental well-being and to ground her.

In short, Billie is a phenom. She has vision and style and as she says early on in the documentary, she feels deeply. And is sad enough for all of us. Her singing voice is hauntingly, achingly beautiful and feels ethereal. Listen to her live performance of “I Love You” below to get that - specifically for the part that sounds like “Hallelujah” (Leonard Cohen) - It starts at 1:15 and repeats later around 2:50 in the song. I love pretty much anything Leonard Cohen, so that nod/reference in the music, deliberate or not, just got me.

A collective favorite and a good one to listen to for an Eilish “noob” (don’t get that reference? Ok, here’s your translation.)

As Billie’s mom, Maggie states in the film: “People are like, ‘Billie Eilish’s music is depressing,’” she says. “It’s like, no, kids are depressed.”

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that watching this documentary (and it’s long - at 2:30 hrs) didn’t make me think about and fear for the depth of anxiety and depression that GenZers have to contend with. Our grungey-90s angst felt akin to that level of lingering close to sadness and pain (emo- if you will) at all times, but there’s something about watching Billie that feels different. Maybe because I’m a mom now and I see it thru those eyes. Maybe because everything Billie and her peers do, every behavior or childhood “mistake” is amplified and analyzed and pathologized on Social Media to the extent that you can’t escape it or live it down.

At one point in the documentary, after reinjuring herself (spraining her ankle) from jumping on stage to “Bad Guy” on tour in Italy, she swipes on Instagram a before and after photo montage of the injury at home (presumably at least a few weeks later) and says “Happy (before)” and “Sad (after)” It’s a small item but it’s one that echos the refrain, “Nothing you do goes unnoticed” For all that we tell ourselves and hear from wellness experts, each day is a new day, we dust ourselves off and move on, well, social media makes that a bit of a challenge.

As Billie Eilish does a lot in the film with others, you just kinda want to hug her and tell her it’ll all be ok. She’s exceptional, smart, and has a lot of reinventing to go (as Taylor Swift conveyed in Miss Americana on subject of how often women in the entertainment industry need to reinvent themselves as they get older just to stay relevant), but I hope Billie ultimately can strike the right balance in retaining her core self and allowing herself to grow up at the pace she wants in this industry- enough to fully experience her arc.

Do I think she could benefit from the experiences from other older female singers in her industry? Yes. So TS (Taylor Swift), if you’re reading this please reach out and slide into Billie’s DMs if you haven’t already done so.

Survey Says: Yes, see it. It’s long. Break it up. Watch it with others (family and friends). My best memory of this was watching Aya, my daughter, smile when Billie and Justin Beiber were hugging after meeting for the first time. It was such a #fangirl moment for Billie, meeting with her childhood music idol.

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Taylor Swift: Miss Americana (on Netflix)

Taylor Swift has grown up, found her podium, secured it and she’s not afraid to speak up. Thank Gawd too. It’s much more interesting to watch someone speak their mind for 1:30 hrs when they have something worth saying. And boy, does she.

“A nice girl doesn’t force her opinion on anyone.”

In the first 10 minutes of the documentary which I watched while cooking my family lunch yesterday, I start to tear up a little. It wasn’t the onion either. Taylor’s origin story, which essentially is like most of the females I know or grew up with, in that the rhetoric is really around making others happy to derive your own happiness and seeking that validation.

It’s growing up thinking that you don’t matter as much as the person next to you because of a lot of things. Maybe when you said something or said a few things, people ignored it, or they didn’t validate it enough times. Maybe it’s because explictly or implictly you were made to understand that what you had to say wasn’t worth as much as the next person and this stuff, well, it matters. It matters because the less you perceive others value your own voice, the more you perceive that your voice doesn’t hold value. And the less you speak up.

At one point in the film, Taylor Swift apologizes for stating her view on something only to realize that she’s stating her view while being interviewed in the home that she paid for based on the songs that she wrote. She asks herself, “Why I am apologizing?” It’s kinda silly right? But those are the “uh huh” moments that you nod and say, “oh crap I do that too.” I apologize preemptively when something I say may make someone uncomfortable or might not align with the narrative I perceive is important to them. That is ridiculous, I know it, but that is the reality a lot of women live in day in and day out.

For those of us worried about what others think all the time, here’s something to shake that hangup loose:

I didn’t expect to be as wowed as I was by watching Taylor Swift. I’ve always liked her music (sometimes on the down low) but never knew much about her apart from the fact that based on what I saw in the media: She wrote a lot of songs about her boyfriends, you likely didn’t want to date her unless you wanted to end up in one of her songs, and Kanye West did something reproachable to her at the Grammys a while back, for which she seemed to shoulder the burden of that scandal more than the celebration of the work that that Grammy represented). Oh yea, and then this song came out and some point and I really dug the vibe:

The real Taylor (as shown in Miss Americana) appears more reflective, articulate, layered, and savvy. She’s ok with having “thin skin” and an “open heart” as long as she has a “sharp pencil.” Seriously? I love that.

Her mom is her compass (similar to Billie Eilish) and supports her when others don’t. At one point in the film, we see Taylor becoming more politically active and vocal about her support of a mid-term senator race in Tennessee where she came out in support of a democratic candidate who ended up losing against Marsha Blackburn.

Her mom consoles her telling her, “You need to continue off of what you’ve built here.” Even with Taylor’s own team challenging her decision to speak up and become politically active, her mom is in her corner. We know that in a make it or break it industry fueled by ratings and a star’s ability to fill a stadium of concert goers, it’s risky what Taylor is doing, especially in a conservative home base of Nashville.

Taylor Swift is now 31. This documentary came out as she was turning 30 and reflecting back on 15 years of a career in music, starting off a little country, then pop, and now folklore.

Survey Says: Yes, Yes, and Yes. It’s empowering, honest, thought provoking and just a good movie to watch with your family or alone.

As we fast forward to 2021:

Both Taylor Swift and Billie Eilish are up for 2021 Grammy awards.

For Taylor, if she wins Best Album, it will be her third and she would become the first woman to win the show’s top prize 3 times.

Billie Eilish is up for 4 awards - Best record, song (Everything I wanted), pop solo performance and Song Written for Visual Media.

I’m excited for both of these artists and for The Black Pumas. They are so good. I’ve been raving about them for over a year now. If you’re into psychedelic soul, they are so groovy. I dare you not to sway your head.

I’ll leave you with one of their best songs and also a nice note to end this post on.