"Hemda/Bliss" Observes One Couple's Struggle for Peace

The latest film by Israeli novelist and director Shemi Zarhin sees an older couple's life shaken up by the arrival of two young men.

Writer’s Note: When I transitioned from being an American Jewish tourist visiting Israel in my youth to becoming culturally immersed through my Israeli husband in my early thirties, I quickly realized how limited my understanding of Jewish identity had been. Growing up, I was primarily exposed to Ashkenazi Jewish culture, rooted in Central and Eastern Europe, which represents only a fraction of the diverse tapestry of Jewish identities in Israel. In Israel, Jewish identity is a mosaic, encompassing Jews from India, Africa, the Middle East, South America, Central and Eastern Europe, and virtually every corner of the globe. This diversity creates a unique melting pot or salad bowl that defines Israeli society.

Around the same time, I made another significant cultural discovery: Family is at the heart of Israeli life. To truly grasp Israeli culture, one must recognize the central role of family bonds and communal connections in shaping daily life and societal values, as well as the rich blend of cultures that merge to create new collective identities. Films are a great way to explore this.

In Hemda (translated as "Bliss" in Hebrew), director Shemi Zarhin, known for works like Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi, offers a glimpse into Israel's rich cultural diversity through the intimate lens of a family navigating the pull of unexpected external forces that threaten to upend their peace.

Zarhin once again partners with talented veteran film actress Asi Levy, his muse from Aviva, My Love, to depict a hard-working woman at a pivotal crossroads. Effie, a physical therapist and music instructor by day, is in her early 50s and has perpetual circles under her eyes that mark her as a woman a few years older. She and her husband, Sassi (Sasson Gabai), 20 years her senior, who also works multiple days jobs, are comfortably married in a relaxed, unassuming way but still very much enamored with each other. They also work together nights preparing bourekas, and supplying a local restaurant.

In short, Sassi and Effie never stop working, and part of the question going into this film, as you see them working so hard, is, “Why?”

Both Sassi and Effie are Mizrahi Jews or Jews whose family origins come from the Middle East, North Africa, and Asia. Culturally, this ties into the story through their knowledge of Arabic songs and language as they speak amongst themselves and in Sassi’s friendship with one of his Arab coworkers.

Side Note: Northern Israel, the Upper Galilee community where Hemda was filmed, was bombed extensively after October 7, 2023, and this film was made before and after the war started, making it particularly challenging to tie together the scenes, since locations were destroyed by missiles launched into the area. [For more on that as well as the film’s distribution challenges, read here]

The film's first few scenes, which take place in Effie and Sassi’s car at night, demonstrate their playful and unfiltered intimacy, which might strike Western cultural watchers as uncomfortably direct. However, it made me think how close this couple is that they can be this open, and immediately, I was charmed by them. It helps that Gabai and Levy have acted together before and have an ease around each other that lends authenticity to their performance as a married couple tested by life’s hardships.

One of the chief marital challenges, as depicted in the film’s first few scenes, is Sassi’s inability to engage in penetrative sex with his wife as he is a prostrate cancer survivor with erectile dysfunction. The couple, together, visit with Sassi’s doctor, who makes the case for a vacuum erection device (VED), which Sassi is entertaining and Effie is reluctant about. The doctor puts it in binary terms - you can either do the penis pump and have sex or go without sex for the rest of your days together. But as the movie progresses, Effie and Sassi show us that a third option can exist - one rooted in daily acts of love and service for one another, proving that there are many different ways to satisfy a partner. While sexual fulfillment is essential, as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs showcases, love and belonging highlight “friendship, family, and sense of connection,” which encompasses a much broader and deeper context, of which sex is only a part.

The arrival of Omri (Maor Levi), a free-spirited grandchild who is biologically related to Sassi but not Effie, sparks a deeper exploration of their relationship. Omri’s father, Dror, Sassi’s son from a previous marriage, lives in Brussels due to his severe gambling debts and ongoing addiction. These debts are why Sassi and Effie juggle at least six jobs to make ends meet.

Source: TIFF / Hemda’s Levy and Gabbai

Omri’s presence awakens Effie and Sassi’s joy and deep parental instincts, especially in contrast to Dror’s irresponsible and seemingly unfit behavior. As Omri’s stay extends, the couple finds it increasingly difficult to imagine life without him. His vibrant energy and charm cast a lasting spell on them, even as his bold virility—evident in his frequent romantic escapades with a friend’s girlfriend—creates practical challenges in their shared living space.

The arrival of a new patient for Effie, who has requested her as his therapist, is the other upheaval in their lives. In a strange turn of events, we learn that Effie had a one-time affair with a student named David (Adi Alon) many years ago. Since that time, David has emerged as a war hero and suffered a blow to his leg, rendering his leg lame. Hence, the water therapy. It is clear from their reuniting and its charged interaction that David is holding onto feelings of an emotional and sexual nature for Effie. She may be physically longing for him as well, but more so, she sees the affair for what it was - a one-time deal during a tough time in her life and a mistake.

Beyond exploring the intersection of sexual desire, fulfillment, and shame, the narrative purpose of the Effie-David story feels somewhat underdeveloped. Sassi’s awareness of Effie’s indiscretion—revealed through David’s mother—and his silent forgiveness without Effie’s knowledge becomes merely a detail in their marriage. Meanwhile, Effie’s internal conflict over her unspoken affair adds another layer of tension. The film’s strength lies in its profoundly moving performances by Asi Levi and Sasson Gabai, who embody the sun and moon in this cinematic universe, anchoring the other characters as they orbit around their luminous presence.

I’ve always admired Israeli cinema because it tells realistic, everyday life stories that are layered in emotionally resonant ways because they are grounded. Characters speak naturally, and emotions are embraced rather than avoided. The family structure and bonds serve as a unifying force, creating a sense of universality, while the cultural elements inform the context.

For Effie and Sassi, there are no binary cancellations of one another based on past and present foibles. There are no tally cards. No one’s checking out when the going gets tough. There’s a recognition of life’s complexities—a quiet perseverance through the everyday, paired with a celebration of the good moments, sparking joy, sorrow, anger, and the bittersweet truths of existence. Each one sees the other clearly and wisely and thus loves one another accordingly. It’s never perfect, but it is a form of “bliss.”

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One of my top picks for the 2023 Festival I attended was An Artist Daughter, Oil on Canvas. [Read about it here.]

Special thanks to the Boston Israeli Film Festival organizers for providing a screening of this film and others I will be reviewing.